Before you ask…

Before you ask-2

Do you ever wonder why our society is so obsessed with gender? What makes it SO important that most of us simply cannot relate to a person unless we know their gender? Are boys and girls innately different or is it society that shapes us? I have wondered this for a long time, and finally I found a book that offered real, evidence-based answers:

Parenting beyond pink & blue

If you are interested in gender stereotyping, how it works and how we can break our society away from it, I highly recommend this book.

When I read a book that influences me profoundly or offers major insights that I want to remember forever, I always write myself a summary of the points that were most meaningful to me. If you want to know answers to the above questions, sign up for my newsletter, and I’ll email you tomorrow with the notes I wrote.

While we’re talking about gender, I’m actually getting up on stage to do a piece about it next weekend, as part of the show, Mommie Queerest. I’m going to be doing a stand up comedy routine about my own experiences in attempting to break out of gender stereotypes while raising my son. Think pink spotty outfits and a great deal of gender confusion. You’ll laugh at me, I swear, and I mean AT me, not WITH me. That’s ok – I’ll forgive you.

Mommie Queerest is a cabaret show put together by the very hilarious and much funnier-than-me Kelly Parry. You might know of Kelly Parry as she directed The Grimstones and helped me create the story and characters. Fabulous, fabulous person, I tll you. Anyway, the show is about the ups and downs of queer parenting, and the other performers have some great stories to share too.

If you want to get a gander at us, we’re performing at:

Chill Out Festival, Daylesford
Sat 12 March at 2pm

2 thoughts on “Before you ask…

  1. Cam

    I know this is an old post, but wow I’m finding so much to identify with reading back through your blog. I am a nonbinary trans person – psychologically, legally, and physically genderless. As such, I get read in all sorts of different ways (often heavily relying on context to make a guess, as I’m physically androgynous) and it’s fascinating to see how people relate to me based on what sex they think I am. I often get people trying to guess what I “really” am, when it doesn’t even matter. Gender isn’t something most people have to think a great deal about, it’s taken for granted, so I suppose when that rug is pulled out with someone like me, it becomes important to pin it down and sort it out. Someone asking me if I am a boy or a girl gets “No.”


  2. Asphyxia Post author

    Hi Cam, I love your answer to ‘Are you a boy or a girl?’ … nice one! It must be exhausting to constantly have to be the one confronting peoples’ lack of thinking about gender and what it means, and to have to deal with their thinking-out-loud / inappropriate questions as they struggle to deal with it after meeting you. I know I get fed up with this when it comes to my Deafness.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s